Almost My Children
by FelsGoddess
Summary: Winter played a significant role in the lives of the Solo children. Here are her reactions to events in the latter part of the New Jedi Order.


Title: Almost My Children  
Author: FelsGoddess  
Summary: Winter took care of Anakin and the twins most their lives. I had wondered about her reaction to Anakin's death, Jacen's disappearance, Jaina's fall, and Jacen's return.  
Disclaimer: This is G. Lucas's world.

I sit here every day with Ackbar on Mon Calamari, helping him out. He is aging. He cannot do what he used to. I don't mind staying with him. My husband is helping with the war. He is on Coruscant. I haven't seen him for a month.

We haven't been paying attention to the news as of late. All we hear about is how we are losing the war. Tycho tells me if anything really important is happening.

The front door chimes. I pull my legs out of Ackbar's water to answer it. My husband stands there, looking grim.

"What is it?" I ask him.

Tycho steps inside. He simply hugs me. He then steps back and takes my hands, "Winter, darling, Anakin is dead."

My mind reels. Anakin? Not Anakin! He can't be dead! Perfect memories of the boy play before my eyes. I see Leia hand me the baby for safekeeping. I see baby Anakin smile at me. I see little Anakin take his first step. I hear his first word. I see him safely in his mother's arms after he is rescued. I see him run to me when I see him after his kidnapped. I hear him yell, "WINTER!" I see him sitting alone by a small puddle, playing in the mud. I hear his cry as he scrapes his knee. I see him tell his brother and sister goodbye as they leave for Yavin IV. I hear the pride in his voice when he tells me he is going to Yavin. I see him leave. I feel his hug. I hear him tell me how to fix the Temple after an attack. I see him working on his lessons. I hear his voice.

I love all three children, but Anakin has always been extra special to me. The twins had their bond. They would sometimes go into their own little world, leaving Anakin alone. He would come to me. I love him as if he was my own. I remember a picture he made me as a small boy. He made his family. He had his mother and father, sister and brother, uncle, Chewie, and Lando. He painted me in, holding his hand.

_"See?" he told me, "You are my friend! You are in my family!"_

I feel Tycho pull me close. I have to know, "How?"

"He led a strike team of Jedi to Myrkr to kill the voxyn queen, that's all I know," Tycho tells me. I know about voxyn. I worried for the children as soon as I heard of them.

I know I should ask how Han and Leia are, but I can't. Tycho and I never had children. Anakin was my baby. I raised him more than his parents did. My boy is dead.

I sit once again with my legs in the water, watching Ackbar swim. Tycho has no returned for a month. I have not turned on the news since he left. All that is shown is images of my Anakin. I see him in my perfect memory. I know Ackbar is recording images of him to give to Han and Leia.

The door chimes. I rise to answer it. Once again, Tycho stands there, looking grim.

"Who?" I asked, terrified.

"Jacen," he answers simply. I let him inside. He hugs me tightly, "He is gone. I heard that Leia is still convinced he is alive, but that could just be a mother's hope."

Jacen. My first boy. He is dead, too. My boys are dead.

"How is Jaina?" I ask, knowing it was bad.

"Last I heard, Jaina... has gone to the Dark Side," he tells me.

I nod. The loss of Jacen must have sent her over the edge. She and Jacen were not only twins, not only the two halves of one being, but best friends. They needed each other. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her.

"Was there a funeral?"

"For Anakin. On Hapes. Leia doesn't believe Jacen is dead and there was no body," Tycho explains.

I nod. I do not need a funeral to remember my boy. I can see him perfectly. I can hear him. I can hear all of my almost children.

"There's more, love," Tycho told me, "Coruscant has fallen."

I inhale sharply. I look to Ackbar. His face shows dismay.

I cling to Tycho. That is the second planet we have lost. I know we cannot bear to lose another.

He had returned! Jacen is alive! I hug him tightly. He has lost weight. He has facial hair. He has been through hell and back, but he is still my Jacen.

Oh glorious day! Jacen has returned! Jaina is back from the Dark Side! If only my husband was here and little Anakin!

As I hug Jacen tightly, I remember him as a boy and smile.

My almost son is home.  
~~~


End file.
